Thinking of titles is a hard thing to do so I shall not give one to this entry =)
Anyways.. I din go for cell today.. and most prob not gg for service oso becasue 2mr I'm gg for the NDP preview.. and since there's alot of workload (2004/5 maths paper.. aiming to finish chem SAJC and start on ACJC.. 4 chapters of the seemingly never ending bio.. and not to mention.. my dear GP..) just for this week alone.. I think I badly need 2mr to recharge and sun to finish up my work before I start to moan abt sleepless nights again..
I noe this is not exactly too good for my spiritual growth.. but.. sighs.. I guess ultimately to me studies still take first priority.. but at least God answered my prayers by letting me have a good rest today (and also for the NDP tix! =) Last year in National Stadium) coz for the past few days.. Haven't been sleeping well and enough in preparation for tests and trying to keep up with my revision plan.. which I have given up on..
Perhaps its time to reflect upon myself.. but occasionally I do feel liek asking the questions.. (which I dun think anyone will ever answer) how do I communicate with Daddy up there? How do I try and strengthen my faith in Him? How can I learn to rely more on Him and not on myself? Can He teach me how not to put studies as my 1st priority *so that I can nurse myself back to the original me?* How can I open up myself and open up the closed up window that I have (in terms of opening myself up in church.. since I'm probably deemed as an introvert there even though I'm not in sch)?
I dun wanna keep sticking arnd to her and keep myself to my own world.. But I've got no where to channel my doubts nor concerns to... And I think no one probably notices that perhaps if its a fren who brought me to church I wun feel that bad.. Not to say that she's not a fren.. but.. perhaps the identity of her being my tutor sort of comes in the way.. I guess that's why I felt kind of empty when KL told me she can't come to church anymore...
Thank goodness she doesn't read this blog! =) And thank goodness at least this is a channel for me to rant hahas.. =)
Anyways.. I din go for cell today.. and most prob not gg for service oso becasue 2mr I'm gg for the NDP preview.. and since there's alot of workload (2004/5 maths paper.. aiming to finish chem SAJC and start on ACJC.. 4 chapters of the seemingly never ending bio.. and not to mention.. my dear GP..) just for this week alone.. I think I badly need 2mr to recharge and sun to finish up my work before I start to moan abt sleepless nights again..
I noe this is not exactly too good for my spiritual growth.. but.. sighs.. I guess ultimately to me studies still take first priority.. but at least God answered my prayers by letting me have a good rest today (and also for the NDP tix! =) Last year in National Stadium) coz for the past few days.. Haven't been sleeping well and enough in preparation for tests and trying to keep up with my revision plan.. which I have given up on..
Perhaps its time to reflect upon myself.. but occasionally I do feel liek asking the questions.. (which I dun think anyone will ever answer) how do I communicate with Daddy up there? How do I try and strengthen my faith in Him? How can I learn to rely more on Him and not on myself? Can He teach me how not to put studies as my 1st priority *so that I can nurse myself back to the original me?* How can I open up myself and open up the closed up window that I have (in terms of opening myself up in church.. since I'm probably deemed as an introvert there even though I'm not in sch)?
I dun wanna keep sticking arnd to her and keep myself to my own world.. But I've got no where to channel my doubts nor concerns to... And I think no one probably notices that perhaps if its a fren who brought me to church I wun feel that bad.. Not to say that she's not a fren.. but.. perhaps the identity of her being my tutor sort of comes in the way.. I guess that's why I felt kind of empty when KL told me she can't come to church anymore...
Thank goodness she doesn't read this blog! =) And thank goodness at least this is a channel for me to rant hahas.. =)
posted by SAm @ 11:00 PM
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