ReLaTiOnsHiPs?
It wasn't until I read Cindy's blog that I realised that yeah.. indeed alot of ppl are in the same plight as me... yes, call me self-centred.. But well.. while reading her blog entry.. alot of flashbacks and thoughts came into my mind..
It just made me realise that how distant we tend to feel from our dads as we grow up day by day.. year by year.. whether dad is there or not doesn't seem to make a difference anymore.. even though my dad is here in Sg everyday.. and I see him everyday.. I dun seem to share the same thoughts as him. .or rather.. I seldom even exchange sentences with him.. Even though in recent years he has been trying his best to fulfil the duties of a Dad.. I noe he loves us.. because that explains the bday gift that comes in terms of a hongbao every year.. it goes to show that he has us in his heart.. doesn't it?
Which also brings me to think.. Do men really hide their feelings alot just like women do? Perhaps it is that hard for them to express their thoughts.. As we gradually understand mroe and more of earthly affairs.. Parents fail to understand us mroe and more and how we actually do feel what might be best for them.. or rather, how we feel they shld do (DIsclaminer: this is just my point of view.. no offence intended!)
Many a times we often feel the best way out is a divorce (and I still feel that way too) But what would life be liek after a divorcE? Does it really puts all miseries to an end? Well.. that's a solution taht can never be found I suppose.. A few nights ago.. mum was complaining abt dad again just when my sis came back from her movie.. and I can't help but feel irated by that so I just shot her with this "Mum, can I JUST get by for a day w/o hearing your rants abt dad please??" Call it a plea.. her rants really always affect my day, my mood, and much less to say.. disrupts my study routine.. And that was also my sis's reaction too.. Of course after that i felt very guilty because I always thought that a person should have someone to pour out his/her woes to.. But I really feel fed up abt this coz its always the same thing..
Is it a one-sided vieW? HAs my thoughts really been affected by mum? I dunno abt that..
Which also makes me ponder.. If I can't even handle this kind of relationships which are supposed to be the closest to my heart.. what abt the relationship with God? Though of course I know that God is definitely in charge of everything.. But there really are alot of times whereby I just feel like asking why is God giving us such things to worry abt? These are the ppl who are supposedly closest to you but yet you tend to hide things away from them and they try to hide things away from you too.. I know that God has a purpose for everything.. but I really wish that sometimes.. God will just let this purpose be known soon..
Ok.. I suppose I'm done ranting here.. better get back to my studies.. or not 2mr I'll get killed by Ms Yee for not doing my Bio essays again..
It just made me realise that how distant we tend to feel from our dads as we grow up day by day.. year by year.. whether dad is there or not doesn't seem to make a difference anymore.. even though my dad is here in Sg everyday.. and I see him everyday.. I dun seem to share the same thoughts as him. .or rather.. I seldom even exchange sentences with him.. Even though in recent years he has been trying his best to fulfil the duties of a Dad.. I noe he loves us.. because that explains the bday gift that comes in terms of a hongbao every year.. it goes to show that he has us in his heart.. doesn't it?
Which also brings me to think.. Do men really hide their feelings alot just like women do? Perhaps it is that hard for them to express their thoughts.. As we gradually understand mroe and more of earthly affairs.. Parents fail to understand us mroe and more and how we actually do feel what might be best for them.. or rather, how we feel they shld do (DIsclaminer: this is just my point of view.. no offence intended!)
Many a times we often feel the best way out is a divorce (and I still feel that way too) But what would life be liek after a divorcE? Does it really puts all miseries to an end? Well.. that's a solution taht can never be found I suppose.. A few nights ago.. mum was complaining abt dad again just when my sis came back from her movie.. and I can't help but feel irated by that so I just shot her with this "Mum, can I JUST get by for a day w/o hearing your rants abt dad please??" Call it a plea.. her rants really always affect my day, my mood, and much less to say.. disrupts my study routine.. And that was also my sis's reaction too.. Of course after that i felt very guilty because I always thought that a person should have someone to pour out his/her woes to.. But I really feel fed up abt this coz its always the same thing..
Is it a one-sided vieW? HAs my thoughts really been affected by mum? I dunno abt that..
Which also makes me ponder.. If I can't even handle this kind of relationships which are supposed to be the closest to my heart.. what abt the relationship with God? Though of course I know that God is definitely in charge of everything.. But there really are alot of times whereby I just feel like asking why is God giving us such things to worry abt? These are the ppl who are supposedly closest to you but yet you tend to hide things away from them and they try to hide things away from you too.. I know that God has a purpose for everything.. but I really wish that sometimes.. God will just let this purpose be known soon..
Ok.. I suppose I'm done ranting here.. better get back to my studies.. or not 2mr I'll get killed by Ms Yee for not doing my Bio essays again..
posted by SAm @ 12:16 AM
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